The strangest massage experience. EVER.

I finally made an appointment to go for a massage last night.

I was really excited because it has been a very long time since I last went for a massage and I didn't think I would be able to do it with the 2 boys. But I timed it really well for after Lucas goes to bed, and after Linus has his feed in the evening and went to bed. Normally the spas here close pretty early at around 7pm, but the other day, I drove by a Korean Spa and went in to check it out. They close at midnight! I was so excited I booked an appointment rightaway for a much needed massage.

It almost reminded me of a Sento in Japan when I walked in. I was given a towel, too small to even cover half my body. Communal bathing is definitely not my thing. Anyway, I was led into this huge shower room with a bed (it looked like one of those metal beds from biological labs and I felt like a specimen), some buckets (which looked like the buckets in our garage filled with cement), and some random bottles and towels. None of the frills of any of the spas I have been, no soft music, no aromatherapy, no fancy looking sheets and dim lighting.

As I laid on the "bed", a middle-aged woman clad only in the bare essentials came in and took a bucket and splashed warm water onto my body. At this point, I really felt like a pig, cow or animal of some sort being given a bath in the barnyard. Then, she slipped on 2 mega scrubbing mittens and started to scrub me down. OMG. I really had the scrub of a lifetime.

I had milk, yoghurt, and some orange-smelling oil spread all over my body for the massage. It started innocently with the usual kneading. Just when I thought it is starting to feel normal to me, she hopped onto the bed with her knees on my butt and pulled my arms back and I heard my bones make a cracking sound. I usually fall asleep in most massage sessions, but not this one. I was wide awake. Probably in fear.

The next thing she did really made me laugh. I had to conceal my laughter with a cough. She took out a vegetable scraper (which looked exactly like those you find in the kitchens except much larger) and whipped out a large cucumber and started to grate. The sight of an old(er)minimally clad woman with a shower cap grating cucumbers was too much for me to take.

Anyway, I left feeling a little bruised from the very vigorous kneading and smelling like an orange. I felt like I expelled all my dead skin cells which was good. I am not sure I will return although I think she really did a good job at releasing the tension in my muscles and she was really trying hard and I felt for her to have to do this over 5 times (probably) in a day.